Two years ago, this month, you proposed to me. We had no idea what life would have in store for us. We had no idea of the hurdles that we would have to go through to get us to the day we'd become husband and wife, for all time and eternity. We had no idea how hard managing money would be. We had no idea just how different we were, and the arguments and blessings that would come from that. We had no idea that I'd always be right;) We had no idea that just a few short months into our marriage we'd find out we were going to have a baby. We had no idea what it meant to be tired. We had no idea that going to the grocery store would feel like a night out on the town. We had no idea we could love this much, of each other or Nora.
I don't think we had any idea two years ago of what love really was. I think we're still learning. And I feel like I've always loved you.
I want you to know that I notice you. I have since the first night I met you.
I noticed the way you walked in with your brother, you were pretty quiet that night.
I noticed the way you tried to buy everyone dinner that night, and then later ice cream.
I noticed you talking to another girl. You stopped talking to her though, and somehow would always end up standing next to me. Or how you broke up a fight without hesitation. Secretly I was going to try and help, but got scared.
I noticed when at church you didn't ask for my number when other guys did, only for me to go home and see you gave me yours. Only you gave me the wrong number.
I noticed how after work you'd text me. And pretended my boring life was interesting, because me eating Cheerios was in no way exciting.
I noticed how how cautious you were when you switched our group date into a one on one.
I noticed how you were late that night. Now I'm the one running late all the time.
I noticed you smiling, or how you touched your face because the smiling hurt. And when you slyly put your arm around back of my chair. And your awkward hug at the end of our first date.
I noticed how you were nervous about saying you wanted to kiss me. And made me go in for our first kiss.
I noticed how nervous you were when you talked about wanting us to be in a relationship, even though it would be distant.
I noticed you pay for every date. And how you opened the door for me.
I noticed how you told me you wanted to marry me before you even told me you loved me.
I noticed the sweet good morning and goodnight texts.
I noticed you making me feel like I was the most beautiful and important girl in the world. You made me feel of worth. I'd never felt that way before.
I noticed how you made me love you. It wasn't hard.
I noticed your beard when you picked me up from the shuttle. You shaved a few days later. I didn't know that would be the second to last time I'd see your cute baby face.
I noticed you walk through a crowd of people and get down on one knee. I think you were nervous. You gave me my engagement ring. And my wedding band. I told you to hold onto that.
I noticed you even in your darkest days you tried to make me happy. You told me I could walk away. But you were my happy. I also noticed you would never give me that option again.
I noticed your smile when you first saw me in my wedding dress. Or the grin that wouldn't leave your face while we knelt at the alter. You probably noticed how nervous I was. I was still nervous I filled out the marriage license wrong.
I noticed how you took care of me when I passed out. And that you were holding me when I came to. I noticed you hug my mom and admit that you were scared the whole time.
I noticed you dig through the garbage to point out there were two lines on the pregnancy test. And how you looked at me and said: "Baby, we're having a baby."
I noticed you working hard to take care of us financially. Even when it seemed like your body couldn't do anymore.
I noticed how you loved shopping for baby stuff. You were more into it than me back then. Or how you would think of baby names, and by the names you picked you must've thought we were giving birth to a 72 year old lady.
I noticed the nights you'd take me to labor and delivery because you were worried about me and the baby.
I noticed the excitement on your face when we were told I'd be induced in two days. And how you took me out to dinner so I could stress eat. And once again you looked at me with a smile that wouldn't go away as you said, "Baby, we're having a baby."
I noticed you try to comfort me while I was in labor. It was hard for you. You kept squishing my IV. I noticed you never left my side once we got to the hospital. Or how you'd tell me when I was having a big contraction.
I noticed you cheering me on. Making me believe I was the strongest girl in the world.
I noticed you as I saw you cry for the first time when Nora was born. The relief that came on your face when she finally cried. The look of awe on your face when you felt our hearts beating through the umbilical cord. And your wet eyes as you kept saying, "She is beautiful."
I noticed you stay up all night to help me with her. Those first few weeks were rough. I noticed all the diaper changed. Especially while she had that gross umbilical corded belly button. We both know how grossed out by it I was.
I noticed you leave for work. And how nervous you were for me, and how I would handle doing it all alone. I noticed you coming home from work and cooking us dinner because Nora wouldn't let me do anything it seemed.
I noticed you asking me to move to Utah. And how you said you needed me to do this for you. I noticed your worry for how I would do there because I'd know nobody.
I notice you waking up early and coming home late every day.
I notice you staying up late to keep me company.
I notice you holding Nora at the beginning of dinner so I can eat first before she realizes I'm no longer giving all my attention to her.
I notice you clean the toilet. Good job, bud.
I notice you crawl on the floor to play with Nora even though it hurts.
I notice you get a little annoyed when you're just trying to play with her but she's jumping off your lap to try and get to me. I will get jealous when one day she'll only want you.
I notice you get me anything I want. Even when you shouldn't! You spoil me way too much.
I notice you picking out clothes for Nora. It seems like my love for animal print has rubbed off on you.
I notice you stress over our finances. Someday we'll figure it out.
I notice you laugh. Whenever you do. I still think it's the cutest thing.
I notice you smiling at your phone. It's a cute smile. I know you're watching some random video on Facebook. You'll eventually message it to me.
I notice you keep calm while I freak out. Like that time Nora decided to try and eat a sticker. Or when there was that thunder storm.
I notice you still tell me I'm pretty, even though I think I'm far from it.
I notice how you try to take me on dates still. Which is very hard.
I notice you tired. Every single day. But you still keep working. You still keep trying.
I notice you serving others even though a lot of the time you just want to relax.
I notice your sacrifices. You give up some of the things you want to give Nora and I the things we want.
I notice your selflessness. Your happiness is my happiness.
I notice you. I appreciate you. I don't say that enough.
I had no idea how much more I'd love you than I did two years ago.
